the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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