Me. At least after what I've been through.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
