so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
