sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
