Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
