TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
In America we eat man semen.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Enjoy the penises
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
