Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize