like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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