You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
