Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
