just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Princesses don't give blow jobs
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
