i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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