i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
