I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have already put on my inside pants.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
