D3 body, D1 cock
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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