I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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