do herpes really smell.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
