So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
my poor anus
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
