Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
