I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
