I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
