I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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