then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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