one two three fourrrrnication!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
