I don't think brook has ever known best
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
