I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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