Umm I'm too high to move.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
God I need to hump something, right now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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