woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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