Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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