I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
