is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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