I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
