i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
