The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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