I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
