That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
