Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
