Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
