D3 body, D1 cock
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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