I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So vagazzling was a success
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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