singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
