I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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