hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
