Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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