Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
sex in a hospital.. check
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
