There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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