so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
