in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
