She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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