One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What did we do last night that was yellow?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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