Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
