fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
